This has been my new pursuit!
It came as a very welcoming insight during a lovely conversation I had with a friend. When he asked me how comfortable I am with receiving love – I hesitated a bit but eventually accepted that yeah I am not that great at it. As I reflect, I realized that I am more of a giving person and have always believed that in giving I shall receive.
But it has been an interesting series of incidences that I experienced in last week where I watched myself closely every time someone tried to be kind to me or extended his/her love to me and initially I felt the same uneasiness I have been feeling but overcoming that and accepting love and kindness from those lovely people made me feel very beautiful :-)
Kindness when comes totally unexpected makes you feel grateful to life and existence eternally.
While on our way back from watching a movie, I suddenly realized that I forgot to buy the chaipatti for home. Sharing it with a friend in rickshaw, I was expressing how I will have to get up and get the chaipatti first thing in the morning else my brother would get really mad. After having a brief conversation about this, we got on talking about the movie and life at large. By the time we stopped the auto near her building, I had totally forgotten about the chaipatti and was saying her goodbye. Suddenly, the auto driver said – ‘Yaha se kharid lo chaipatti’ :-) I was speechless for a minute while my friend acted quickly and got me a small pack. When he started the auto, I thanked him, again and again. He shared how he would have felt if he was to get the chaipatti the first thing in the morning. He said he would get very angry on himself for forgetting it and said I would have felt the same way.
I had no words to express how beautiful and grateful I was feeling. We had never met before and we may never meet again, but what he did was so thoughtful and considerate that I felt blessed to have received such kindness :-)
After having such blissful evening, yesterday I met one of my dearest friends from old days. We met after four years and had a lot of catching up to do. After sometime of our meeting, she opened this big bag and started giving me all the gifts that she had collected for me since couple of years. I was feeling very overwhelming and a bit uneasy. I did not get her anything because it was too late by the time I reached her home and my visit was planned at a very short notice. This made me feel a little bad and to add to it I was not comfortable receiving so many gifts. She saw the concern on my face and said to me – My biggest gift is your presence. In a minute or so, with a smile on my face I accepted all her gifts with open heart and saw how happy it made her.
I love this feeling, because it’s a new feeling for me. To let someone care for me, to receive love without being worried or burden about having to give it back and to receive it with smile and gratitude :-)
In giving you shall receive and in receiving you shall give :-)!!