The Night!

The night has come after a long time
…
Alas...It was a long wait! But a wait worth while!

This is one of those nights when the stars are asking me to be awake with them…for they 


missed me for a long time! 

When the Moon says – I have so much to talk…are you all ears…don’t you sleep!

Somewhere in the distant land, I can hear the sounds of night…I can feel the silence...

Oh how I longed for this night!!!

A New Day !

Happy Birthday to Me :)!

Do I...Should I...Will I...Will It ???

Will this ever change?

Will you ever understand what I really want?

Can you look through my eyes, see and feel what I go through when I work 12-14hrs a day without even going to toilet?

Do I want to go to school?

Do I want to be with my family?

Do I love going to work?

Do I like living on the street?

Do I love the city life, the freedom that I get, the drugs that I take, the time I spent on footpath?

Do I want to go back home?

Do I want to learn a skill to get a good job?

I really DO NOT KNOW!!!

But I also don’t know why you are asking me all these questions?

Why can’t you just let me BE!!

I will talk when I WANT TO…not when I am ASKED TO…
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Wrote this one during the workshop I recently attended on child labour. Somewhere felt that the most urgent need of an hour is to look into the eyes of these children, listen to them and let them BE!! Due to our constant guilt and ambition of making the world a better place for children, we fail to realize that we are simply experimenting with them. Be it...rescuing them from work and dumping into the Govt. home or into an NGO shelter or send them back home. 


We are in so much hurry to make things RIGHT that as soon as we see any child alone, our immediate reaction is - Let's get him to some place safe...the assumption being the place where he is right now is not SAFE and he is not HAPPY being just there!!


At the beginning of this journey that I have undertaken to resolve the issue of Child Labour, I am facing a moral question - Who am I to decide that the child is better off with his family or at shelter and not when he is working at a Zari factory? How can I decide that education is ONE solution for all the children and that every child should not work but go to school?


Who am I to decide? ?


I am trying as hard as I can to remind myself every time that in this journey, I should not take actions to do what I feel is right, but my first responsibility is to listen to these children and give them the space they require...for may be all they need is TIME!

Pursuit of HappYness!

Chaos! I have been living in and around chaos…basically living in Mumbai for all my life. But the amount of noise, air and life pollution I have been experiencing in last few months has been at its extreme. Every day, not willingly but out of no choice, people behave selfishly, rudely with fellow human beings over a petty fight of hiring an auto or getting a place to sit in a local train.

On the evening of one of such mad days, I saw an email in my inbox with a subject – Tuning Fork Film Workshop in the Himalayas (Deer Park, Bir)

The first thing I told to myself after reading it – Wow man, what a locationJ!

I then checked out the website of the location – Deer Park Institute (http://www.deerpark.in/) and just a look at the picture of the monastery made me feel peaceful and serene.

So, a time for confession - the primary motivation for going for the workshop was the PLACE J and I was ecstatic with just a thought of going far far away from the chaos of the city to the kingdom of tranquility and wisdom.

Deer Park has a beautiful feel to it…a feel which brings you close to Life…a feel which makes you go within to realize how beautiful the world is and how you can contribute to make it a better place…a feel which teaches you that life is to appreciate the sheer miracle you experience by seeing every living being on the earth! The trees, the butterflies, the flowers, the birds, fellow humans, the dogs…it was overwhelming to see every object personify magnificence!   

Every person I interacted at Deer Park is so full of love & compassion. You can see it from their eyes; the simplicity with which they live life brings so much happiness and satisfaction to it. The perception and the idea of life is so different and yet so beautiful for it’s not clouded with worldly attachments & desires.

I found myself doubly treated to have met Ankit, Sachi and Sumit – the facilitators for the Tuning Fork Film Workshop and also my co-participants. I thoroughly enjoyed the way Ankit, Sachi and Sumit facilitated the workshop.

I think, the process of taking us through the journey of how our perception as a viewer and film maker matters in conveying our message was very intelligently designed. Loved all the short films, ads shown during the film appreciation sessions.

I especially enjoyed the discussions where Ankit made us realize how important it is for each one of us to know our biases, our likes - dislikes, our opinions and our view of the world at large, for that defines what and how we interpret and use film as media to put across our point.

I was equally impressed with the patience and tolerance displayed by both Sachi and Sumit during the editing sessions. All the participants pester them with the same set of questions but it was amazing to see that not even once did they show that they got annoyed by it. Never in the workshop have I seen the facilitators staying up till 4.30 a.m. to help the participants complete their task…kudos for that! And ~hugs~!

All in all, seven most beautiful days spent amid stunning dhauladhar mountain ranges with lovely people …now doesn't that make life beautiful :-)!

Thank you Deer Park and Tuning Fork for this experience!

Children of the PYRE!!!

We are guilty of many errors and many faults,
But our worst crime is abandoning the children, Neglecting the fountain of life
Many things we need can wait ,But the child cannot.

Right now is the time; His bones are being formed,
His senses are being developed, His blood is being made
To him, we cannot answer, “Tomorrow”,
His name is “Today”.

By Gabriel Mistral

I was 14 when I lost both my parents, at that tender age all I could understand was that I missed their presence in my daily routine and missed hugging my mother in the night & playing & getting pampered by my Dad J!!!

Childhood...it’s the most beautiful period of our life...a period in which we experience the bliss of life as we are not trapped in the wheels of attachment & expectations. In spite of losing my parents at an early age, I was fortunate to have had a wonderful childhood where every day was worth cherishing!

So when I came across a documentary film – Children of the Pyre ; not in my wildest dream I had thought that the whole idea of childhood would be so different for children living 1500kms away from me...in a city which is country’s oldest & holiest religious place, A city of Lord Shiva, Gautam Buddha, Sant Kabir and Ganga Mata...A City of Varanasi!

For a 15yr old Ravi, childhood means eating 15-20 packets of gutakha (tobacco) everyday, have गांजा (marijuana) in the night and make his living by burning 20-25 dead bodies.

Yes! Ravi is one among hundreds of children who are – Children of the Pyre, whose day begins and ends by hearing ‘Ram nam satya hai’ (a mantra said while carrying a dead body – means the name of ram is truth) and during the day, it’s a battle with the fire which they fight to pay the funeral rites to thousands of bodies which come at Manikarnika cremation ground – India’s most busiest cremation ground!

Some of you would know this, but for me this was the worst account of humanity, religion, hypocrisy and a complete disrespect for the ‘All Mighty’

My first reaction after watching the films was – I was ridiculed by the naked reality, I was sad, into tears imagining to what extend can a human conscious degrade under the veil of religion, rituals, practices and संस्कार!

Every boy’s story is the same - मज़बूरी का नाम ज़िन्दगी! They say if given a choice who would want to come back to this place! Yet I saw that each one of them had mastered in accepting the reality and was truly living in a ‘moment’. Their life is full of so much uncertainty but still they manage to retain their childhood by enjoying themselves thoroughly.

But the downside is...there is hardly any hope! Hope & ambitions are very closely related to the dreams we have or we see, but for these children who literally sleep in the cremation ground...all they dream about are dead bodies, burning pyres, half burnt parts of dead bodies which they have to pick up and throw back into the pyre! One of the boys said, in the night he sees all the dead bodies get up & have bath at the Ganges! Scary isn’t it!!!

The film has a very deep & haunting impact on my life. Somehow...somewhere I am unable to accept that when one of our loved one dies, we are actually using hands of 14-15yr olds to burn their pyre. (& BTW...a friend of mine told me that people even negotiate the rates with these children for doing so!)

If this was not enough, the biggest irony came when it was shown in the film that these children are considered as ‘untouchables’. Why! Because they touch what no other person has got balls to touch! Dead bodies...half burnt parts of dead bodies!

There is so much that I learned from these children. They are stronger both physically and emotionally that ANYONE else I have ever known!

The PYRE still remains an integral part of hundreds of children at the Manikarnika ghat of Benaras...but there is light...HOPE!

Post the documentary, An NGO based out of Varanasi has started a project called ‘Bhagirathi’ to rehabilitate 300 children...an attempt to give them the childhood that they deserve!!!

P.S. – I would really urge everyone to watch this film once. But a word of advice – Be prepared to watch some of the most disturbing real life incidences of your life and please do not watch it alone!

A request not to download or use a pirated copy.

You can buy the dvd from - http://www.ucfilms.in/subject/exclusion/children-of-the-pyre/

Should God pay in CASH for being Sensitive?

In a 9.52 a.m. CST train from Andheri, I encountered the worst incidence of human in-sensitiveness!! (experienced so far!) 

When I got in the train around 9.45, a 5yr old child beggar came begging for money. But when she saw a mother feeding biscuit & water to her little one, she begged for water. I had a small bottle of water which I decided to give her. She had a steel glass in which she had kept all the coins that she collected. I took out the coins and pour some orange juice from my bottle in it…she drank it in one sip!! :-)

In less than couple of minutes, when I looked behind I saw that the entire coach had 8-10 child beggars…the youngest being just 2yrs old and the eldest was around 8-9yrs.

I was sitting on the 3^rd seat and just before the train started, an old lady (around 60yrs) with her two daughters (must be in their middle or late 20s) came & sat on the 4^th seat right across me.

Initially I overhead the daughter saying – Because of these shabby kids, my dress will get dirty!  I chose not to react, thinking that she is ignorant! However, when a small girl from the beggars group wanted to pass from where the mother and daughter were sitting, the old woman not only behaved rudely & denied but used a very derogatory term for the child…she called her & others as ‘गलिच्छ ‘…Which means the one who are born in the shit.

I just completely lost my temper, I asked her what is her problem and why she cannot let the child go…to which she said its inconvenience to her and her daughter and added saying if I am so sensitive, why don’t I sit at her place.

I readily agreed and swapped placed with her. Her daughter asked me ‘Why do you have to talk on their behalf?’… I said because I understand why God has given me the life I am living and that finding a comfortable place to sit in a train or wearing a clean dress is not the ultimate aim of my life!!

I am on a journey to make myself & the world around me a child friendly & sensitive place. But when I saw the disgrace shown by a 60yr old who failed to understand the plight of a 7yr old and who also failed to understand that it could have been her grand-daughter in that Child’s place…my heart was shattered !

I was into tears…asking myself, HOW, HOW is it going to happen? HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE THE WORLD AROUND ME A MORE SENSITIVE PLACE? HOW DID WE BECOME SO INSENSITIVE? HOW DID MONEY & OTHER MATERIAL POSSESSION BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN HUMAN EMOTIONS? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH OF AN ARROGANCE AND EGO & NO PLACE FOR LOVE & COMPASSION?

But within few minutes, I knew what I had to do! I called up 1098 and informed the outreach staff that the children got down at Santacruz station. I decided to immerse myself in the book, to not let my spirits get more affected by the negative incidence.

When I got up to get down at Vadala, I overheard a 10yr old boy who was witness to the incident, saying to her mother ‘This did is very nice, she did right. She knows everything!’

I smiled and replied – When you grow up, even you will know everything!

But I knew at that moment that this 10yr old boy knew more than the old woman…he knew the answers to my question!

There is hope!!!

Is Sustainability a myth?

The word sustainability is derived from the Latin word sustinere (tenere, to hold; sus, up). Dictionaries provide more than ten meanings for sustain, the main ones being to “maintain", "support", or "endure”.

Before I begin to write what is my notion of sustainability, I think it’s important to bring some context.

Being in the development sector (Social Sector) for some time now, the word for me is associated to any or every activity we do towards welfare of our community.

To be honest, I do not even remember using this word while I was in corporate sector, strange! You can blame that on my lack of social consciousness or the fact that the corporate sector in itself is a sustainable system!

So, my notion of sustainability is actually two fold –

a.                 The system designed to provide certain services, does so without any external assistance or dependence

b.                 And also the people for whom the services are designed are able to make use of it by self-realization.

Let me take an example –

Mid day meal is a great scheme introduced by our Government to encourage children to go school. In this case the sustainable environment would mean that the system which is responsible to implement this scheme should be able to do so without any help from the VOs or NGOs and that the community should be able to utilize this scheme pro-actively.

What does this mean? This means that over a period of time the VOs, NGOs, CBOs should become redundant!

At least for me, that would have been an ideal world scenario from a development sector’s view!

Is this a myth?

I am beginning to think so because of

A.             System’s incapability to withstand sustainability -

Let’s take another example to understand this.

I recently attended a dissemination meeting held for Gender Equity Movement in School, a two year module being implemented in 45 BMC schools in Bombay. One of the point we discussed was, how do we make this model sustainable and majority of them were of a view that it’s when the BMC School teachers will start teaching about Gender Equity along with other subjects, the movement will be sustainable!

Sounds sustainable? Well, yes if you are outside the implementing system.

Let’s think from the pov of a BMC school teacher – The TPR ratio in Govt school is already unfavorable, the quality of the staff has always been doubted on, Teachers are often put on other Government duties like Election, the sensitivity required to handle children is always less; part of it is also because they are handling 50-60 children at the same time! (Unlike private schools)

This clearly means that the current system is not fully equipped to withstand sustainability!

So what looks like a perfect sustainable solution from outside the system is actually something that will weaken the system further, if implemented and the worst affected would be the beneficiaries, in this case children!

In the same example, to me the sustainable solution would have been if we make suitable changes in the curriculum to include Gender Equity and at the same time assist the BMC schools to recruit more teachers!

B.                NGOs working towards their idea of sustainability

I am increasingly reaching towards a conclusion that VOs, NGOs, CBOs working towards community welfare are actually working towards what they think is sustainable OR what they think is good for the community. (There are certainly some exceptions and I am glad I know of them!)

This is basically doing a great damage to the community as a whole because it leads to making the community dependent on an outside help, depriving them from achieving self-dependence.

I think the term sustainability in development world needs to be looked at from a completely different view.  For communities, NGOs should play a role of a facilitator AND NOT A PROVIDER! And for the system, the role should include holistic assistance. What I mean is, NGOs should not only come up with model to cover what the system is missing, but it should also assist the system in becoming strong enough to withstand the sustainability.

Basically we need to look at sustainability from the point of view of the system in which we are trying to bring it!

‘Be the change you want to see in the world’