Writing the confusion of RIGHT & WRONG!

Sometime I feel is this right? Who am I to decide what is wrong and right for others (one hardly knows oneself and one’s problems then how can one be so sure of a correct solution of other’s problem!)

Who am I to decide that a 14yr old kid is better off in a school than working in a brick factory, who am I to decide that he should be taught in a certain way, who am I to go in the villages and tell them what they have been doing since ages is wrong!

Is there not a subconscious selfishness and ego hidden in it?

I guess one never knows entirely whether his/her actions are right or wrong, as it’s a purely a perception that drives & justifies one’s actions.

‘Be the change you want to see in the world’

…it is not the money that makes a man happy!

Really!

I mean it’s a beautiful statement to read on your daily quotes calendar, even more beautiful statement to be heard during meditation discourses…but how true and practical is it?!!

It’s been a while that I am on a spiritual path and hence as an individual I can associate myself with this, I do understand the deep meaning these words have, but I have also come to understand that it stands untrue to a practical life of a person who aspires to bring a positive change in the current situation.

It’s a dirty reality that like any other business, money indeed is a lifeline for social sector!

Yes I do realize that I have just called social sector a ‘business’ for I have seen and experienced various incidences which makes me conclude that.

I am not saying there is anything wrong it in, I mean why would there be! What disturbs me is along with money, all other so called dangerous factors of business world are slowly yet vividly entering ‘social sector’.

Let’s take can example –

On a grassroot level, for an NGO to function it needs funds, it needs continuous and undisturbed financial support so that they can concentrate on their work. On the other side, as much as funding agencies are happy to fund such NGOs, they are also very keen on dictating their own agenda & terms on such NGOs. Be it - bringing in more professionalism, investing where they can see rapid results (which BTW need not to be sustainable), investing where they get maximum marketing coverage and so on and so forth.

To add to the irony – it’s evident that majority of the NGOs are unable to function in complete harmony, there are clashes due to ego issues, selfishness, a feeling that two NGOs working for the same cause are actually in competition with each other which leads to no sharing of information, & knowledge. (I am also tempted to conclude that it’s probably the reason why in spite of having so many NGOs working for similar causes, we do not see sufficient results!)

I am really disturbed to see that the people who have voluntarily taken the responsibility of serving the society are themselves driven more by ego, selfishness and not by the cause for which they are working!

NGO’s need for money is accepted and respected! However, the question remains – What needs to be done to make these NGOs realize that while they fight (when I use a word fight, it’s not a literal tug of war, but it’s the more dangerous form of fight – A silence war!) with other NGOs over silly pride and ego issues – the worst sufferer are the people!

 ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’

Disclaimer – These are solely my individual views which have come out of observations and interactionsJ!

The complexity of Science OR the simplicity of Mathematics :-)

Well, if you are an Engineer, Doctor or an MBA, either of these subjects would have been the most significant part of more than 20 years of your life J

The question to ask is...do we really leave back these subjects while leading our lives?

 The calculations, the deadlines, the budgets, the actuals, the logic, the formulas... all are a very valid and deserving part of our professional life...but we get so used to these jargons that we start applying them to our daily lives.

How difficult is it to lead a peaceful and happy life?

Today, when I close my eyes and really think hard and be honest to myself...I am afraid my answer is – It’s as easy as you would want it to be!

Really...I mean, sometimes I feel that human mind is so in love with complexities that it tries to measure everything...be it actions, reactions, feelings, judgements...and in that, we forget to feel, act, react and live in a most authentic and original way !

For most part of my life (would say at least for 25 yrs), I have lived the same mechanical, calculated life...where I would create an excel sheet for every damn thing including ‘Invitations for house functions’...but now, for about couple of years I think I have managed to cool down and stop measuring things with whatever little maths I knowJ

To me, the essence of living life is to feel any emotion to its most original core, it’s to give a hug to someone I love, being kissed by my loved one...be able to pass a smile to a stranger who seems lost in the crowd...to hold hands with my best friend and walk for hours...to talk on phone with my sisters and gossip about new guys in our life...spend time with my Mom to know how the world was in her times and how it has changed...sleep in my Grandpa’s lap listening to stories of his younger times...have dinner with my partner discussing how beautiful and eventful the day was...sit alone and have a cup of coffee while looking at the sun set !

Agreed...

 Everything that I have mentioned above may not be possible in today’s rat race...but spare a minute and give a thought – Is it really that hard?

‘Be the change you want to see in the world’

Ganesh

Sometimes when I see young kids selling things in train, working as a sweeper, delivery boy for a hotel…my first reaction is that I feel sad, wondering what will be their future…secondly I will feel anger towards his owner/ master…thirdly out of my immediate guilt I will start asking him things about his background, does he not feel like going to school rather than doing what he is doing currently? The conversation would always end where the kid would say he would love to go to school if it was not for…!

Due to the nature of our hectic life, in spite of you not wanting…you would forget about him within next couple of hours. Although subconsciously you would always remember that conversation you had with him and will also bring it up while discussing the state of education, poverty, unemployment, children related issues in our country BUT by that time you may have almost forgotten his face.

On a very usual 9-9 work day, I met this kid – Ganesh…I was standing near my wing’s lift, waiting for it to come down when I heard him ask “A wing कौनसा है?”, I said, “यही है A wing, कहा जाना है, बेटा”…while looking at a chit of paper in his hand he said” तिनसो तिन”. He entered the lift with me, I asked him “कहा से आया?” he said” कलश से” (It’s a name of a local hotel). I pressed 3rd floor for him and then 7th for me. When the lift stopped on 3rd floor, he got out and turned and said “Thank you”. Don’t know why, but I immediately said – “अच्छा सुन,, बादमे 7th floor पे आना”

When I reached my floor, I took out keys and opened the door, then checked at which floor the lift was…with the hope that he will come up. The lift was moving between 4th and ground floor for some time so I just turned thinking now he won’t come…for the last time I looked at the lift and saw it coming up and there he was…with an innocent smile on his face.

We spoke for about 15-20 mins. He told me he has come from Nepal, with his Uncle. He lost his parents few years back. To me he looked around 12-13 yrs old, but he told me he is 15 and had studied till 5^th standard. When I asked him would he like to go to school on a daily basis, he said he would love to; but he has a younger sister back home for whom he needs to earn money, so that she can study. He told me he has not put her into a municipality school, but दूसरा अछावाला स्कूल. He said बेहेन का ध्यान तोह रखनाही पड़ेगा. His Uncle told him that he will not support him if he does not earn anything. On a daily basis he works in two shifts. Morning from 10.00 a.m. to 5.00 p.m. at a Builders office, doing cleaning, getting Xerox copies, other misc office work and then he goes to the hotel at 7.00 p.m. and works till mid night. The hotel guys do not even provide an umbrella or rain coat during rainy season when he goes for home deliveries.

After putting in 14 hrs of hard work on a daily basis, he manages to earn Rs. 3,000.00 per month. He gives the entire money to his Uncle, when I asked him whether his Uncle sends it to Nepal to his sister…initially he said, क्या पता भेजता है के नहीं and then said, अब अगर वोह बोल रहे है भेजता है, तोह विश्वास तोह करना पड़ेगा! वोह मेरा इतना ध्यान जो रखते है.   For his tender age, I found him to be extremely practical and mature. During the conversation, he even mentioned - अब देखो मैडम, मेरा मामा मेरा इतना ख्याल रखता है और अगर बेहेन को पालना है तोह काम तोह करना पड़ेगा. मुजेभी पढाई करनी है लेकिन अगर मैं पढूंगा तोह बेहेन के लिए पैसे कैसे कमाऊंगा. गाँवमे रिश्तेदार बेहेनका ध्यान तभी रखते है जब पैसे होते है.

 It’s been 4 years since he last saw his Sister, when I asked him do you call her, with a big grin he said YES. I asked him do you want to speak to her right now (By this time, I was really struggling to figure out as to what I should do to (a) Make him feel better (b) To lower my guilt), he said the charges are 10rs per minute and that they do not have a phone at their home. The person at the care-of number does not call his sister even during the day time, so forget about the night time. I told him, I will come and meet you in the Hotel, he got up, looked at me…smiled and gave me a सलाम.

Now if I tell this story to someone like my brother / aunt…their immediate reaction would be that…these kids are trained to say such things and not to forget, they will also mention that I am a complete emotional fool!! Well, at first I would definitely not agree with them on BOTH the points…however even if we think or rather believe that these kids have been trained to say things like these, the reality still remains that at the age of 12-13, he is being deprived from living the childhood which all of us had, he is being deprived of having an experience of going to school, having friends, knowing a relationship between a teacher and a student. The question is not whether Ganesh is doing everything because he wants to OR because the situation has not given any other alternative to him, the question is -

 By not getting the education, he is being deprived of the equal opportunity of having a LIFE.

Each one of us will have our own ways of looking at this story, some might feel sad, sympathetic towards Ganesh…some might feel and will be doing something for kids like him. What I learned after having met Ganesh is, that there exists another way of looking at LIFE…

“Be the change you want to see in the world”

विपस्सना

I did my first Vipassana during April 20 to May 1^st. Vipassana is a pali word

which means – to see the things as they really are! It’s basically a meditation technique which takes you inward, to know who you really are and what, why and how you feel. The whole idea behind it is to free your mind from all the delusions and attachments of the life, because nothing is permanent.

I liked that it had a very logical way of making the student experience the law of impermanence. Although the routine of sitting for 10 hours every day can become a bit of a task, it’s amazing to see, feel and observe the things that come out of you during the meditation.

It’s amazing what silence brings!

My whole experience gave me few very important insights about who am I and why am I the way I am J but I don’t want to discuss my experience in detail here, because it will lead you to have assumptions and expectations about Vipassana before actually experiencing it. So, I am going to leave it for you to experience it!

I however want to write in detail about one of the realisation (a happy one!) which I experienced during the process.

Well, in theory I had heard about it thousands of time – You are the one who are both the creator as well as solver of your life’s problem. But during those 10 days, I really experienced it. It is so damn true that if we look at each of our life very closely, there are no problems...there is no sorrow; it is our perception of looking at a given situation which makes it a problem or a happy moment.

I cannot express in words the peace that I experience now, as I have learned to look at every situation with a perception of good, positive.  

Adopt a very simple mantra to live life – Be true to yourself, be good to others...it’s a small, sweet life we have been gifted by the all mighty, be grateful for everything and everyone...just spread as much as love as you can, to everyone...always !

Believe you me...although some would not confess it, there is no one, no one who does not like to be loved, so we have many people to love J!!

Happy LovingJ!

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

मध्य प्रदेश - साँची !

Sanchi is one of the World Heritage sites in India. It’s located around 45kms away from Bhopal.  It’s basically famous for Buddhist Monuments and the principle monument is Stupa 1. I always enjoy the journey more that the destination and Sanchi was no exception!

I arrived a day early in Bhopal and was staying at a friend’s Mom’s place. A very warm and loving family, I really enjoyed my stay, spiritual talks with Aunt and playing with my friend’s nephews.

I decided to take a bus to Sanchi from Habibganj. Well, in my defence...before I reached the bus stop I had no clue that there were no state run buses. Yes, all the buses are run by private operators, but they are not that bad J

It took me close to 3 hours to reach Sanchi as the bus kept stopping at each stop for more than 15mins to get more passengers. The lady sitting next to me had kept a bag full of पापड़ in the carriage above me and due the bumpy roads and efficient driving; pieces of पापड़ kept falling on me. After a while, I started eating those.

I enjoyed those while seeing the beautiful site from my window. Golden yellow carpet of wheat farms (See the pics below).

Since I visited in April end (19th), it was after the crop was cut and what was left was fodder for the animals, but never before had I seen so much of fodder together and that too looking so marvellous !

There is a nice archaeological museum which can be visited before one takes an auto to go up to watch the Stupa. It’s about 1-1.5km steep way. I chose to walk rather than taking an auto. I met a really old man while climbing up; he had lived his whole life in that village and was working as a health worker at a community health centre. It’s amazing how someone can live their whole life in the radius of less than 10kms and still be happy and healthy and we, people who are exposed to a progressive society feel a need to travel, meditate, and meet new people so that we can be happy and healthy!

While I was struggling big time to climb up and was doing it really slow, he had no problem climbing up at all!  He suggested me to take stairs as they would be more comfortable. I did so, and the view from up there was again splendid. I sat at a place for about 10mins looking at it and thinking nothing! It was so silent that I heard the sound of a leaf falling from the tree on the rock!

On my way back, I basically had no clue which bus to take and how to reach back and I loved that uncertainty! While having a चाय at one of MP Tourism cafe (BTW, they are damn expensive and no good), the waiter told me to stand on the road and wait for the bus. While standing on road and seeing everyone passing by staring at me as if they had never seen a woman before, I was imagining all sorts of फ़िल्मी things !

Alas, a bus came and I had a safe journey back to Habibganj:-p

Remains of the buddhist monestry and what u see behind that are the wheat farms

Stupa I

View while climbing up the stairs to Stupa

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”